Bob Stannard's 2017 Year In Review
January 1 - The year began with nearly unanimous agreement that Russia hacked our elections in support of Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton. Trump and Fox News disagreed.
January 21 - The most impulsive, petty, narcissistic, immature, lying-est person on the planet, Donald J Trump, was inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States with the smallest crowds ever. No major stars wanted to play at his ball. There were 420 marches around the nation in support of the Million Women's March in Washington DC. There were 168 marches around the globe making this THE most protested day in history. In his first press conference press secretary, Sean Spicer, declared Trump's crowd was the biggest ever.
January 24 - The Allman Brother's Band drummer, Butch Trucks, passed.
February 11 - Insane world leader with bad hair, Kim Jung Un, fired his first rocket over Japan, thus earning him the title of "Little Rocket Man" from the other insane world leader with bad hair.
February 12 - the world lost the great jazz singer, Al Jarreau,
February 13 - The shortest serving National Security Advisor, Michael Flynn, resigns after only 24 days on the job.
February 14 - Happy Valentine's Day. I had a full knee replacement. It hurt terribly.
March 10 - The United Nations warn of the most destructive humanitarian crisis since World War II, with up to 20 million people at risk of death in locations such as Yemen and Somalia. No one cared.
March 16 - Blues fans worldwide got the Blues when Blues singer/harmonica player, James Cotton, went on back to play with Muddy Waters.
April 6 - While condemning Mr. Kim for launching missiles into the sea Trump launches 59 Tomahawk missiles at a Syrian airbase accomplishing very little
April 13 - While condemning Mr. Kim for launching missiles into the sea Trump dropped the MOAB largest non-nuclear bomb in history on Afghanistan.
May 10 - After asking FBI director, James Comey, to look the other way on the corrupt Michael Flynn, Trump fires Comey.
May 17 - Thanks to the firing of James Comey Deputy A.G. Rod Rosenstein appoints Robert Mueller as Special Prosecutor to investigate the Trump administration's role in colluding with the Russians on hacking the elections and possible obstruction of justice. Steve Bannon says firing Comey was the dumbest thing ever.
May 19 - In an attempt to prove Bannon right Trump, on camera, brags to Russians that he fired Comey to ease the pressure on the Russian investigation.
June 1 - Trump pulls out of the Paris Climate Change Accord. Loads his cabinet up with climate change deniers. Scrubs EPA website of any/all Climate Change material.
July 3 - Mr. Kim launches his first ICBM missile
June 29- Same sex marriage becomes the law of the land in Germany
September 3 - "Little Rocket Man", arguably angry at his new nickname, launches his most powerful missile to date
September 27 - Hugh Hefner left just in time to avoid having one million women come forward with inappropriate sexual behavior charges.
October 1 - Stephen Paddock shoots and kills 58 people who were doing nothing more than enjoying a concert in Las Vegas. Sadly, Dorset's Sandy Casey was one of his victims. This was the worst shooting in America's history. Nothing has been done to curb gun violence.
October 3 - Tom Petty sailed off into that grand Rock Concert in the Sky.
October 14 - Trump pulls the United States out of the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO)
October 24 - The golden voice and piano of Fats Domino was silenced forever
October 30 - George Papadopoulos pleads guilty to lying in the Russian investigation. Former Trump Campaign manager, Paul Manafort, and his associate Rick Gates are indicted.
November 19 - We no longer have to waste our tax dollars on housing and caring for Charles Manson.
November 24 - Trump turns down offer to be Time Magazine's "Person of the Year". There was never an offer. Ironically, Trump was beat out by Me-Too women; like women he allegedly sexually assaulted.
November 29 - Angry at the world Kim "Little Rocket Man" Jong Un launched his deadliest weapon yet. He is now able to land a rocket on Washington, DC. It's determined that this might have more pros than cons.
December 1 - Trump's Former National Security Advisor, Michael Flynn pleads guilty to lying to the FBI and is now cooperating with Special Prosecutor, Bob Mueller, causing Trump to tremble while holding a water bottle with both hands as he has very tiny fingers.
December 2 - The Senate Republicans voted in favor of tax cuts that heavily favor the wealthiest Americans; blows a $1.4 TRILLION hole in our deficit and offers crumbs to the middleclass. Not too worry. Those crumbs we'll get will expire in a few years.
December 12 - Sweet Home Alabama says "Screw You and the Horse You Rode in On" to accused pedophile and sexual predator, Roy Moore, thus making Trump a 3-time loser on endorsements. This race also served as a reminder that the Republican Party is not just the party of the rich.
December 13 - In an effort to discredit Bob Mueller and the Russian investigation Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee grill Rod Rosenstein for hours. The charge was led by Rep. Trey Gowdy, who declared "What the hell is going on"; a great question from a man who spent two years and $7 million investigating Hillary Clinton and Benghazi only to come up empty handed.
December 22 - Finally after nearly a year in office Trump gets one major bill passed prior to the next round of indictments. His tax bill is the least popular tax cut bill in history; less popular than Obamacare.
As 2017 draws to a close and we sit by the warm fire, gaze upon our glowing Christmas Tree we await further indictments, guilty pleas, lame tweets and probably another rocket or two. My knee still hurts but not nearly as much as does my soul for our country.
I would like to thank you, faithful reader, for hangin' in there another year. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Bob Stannard is a regular Banner columnist.
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