Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will quietly marry this week in a private ceremony with very little fanfare.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No, really -- TMZ says so.

Sources connected with the couple reportedly told the website that the couple already has a marriage license and plan to use it before the week is over.

What kind of trick is this?

TMZ reported they got a "confidential" marriage license so no one officially knows.

Except TMZ. And me ... and now you.

How much do you want to bet that TMZ confidential source's last name rhymes with "BarCrashian."

Anyway, with that confidential license, Kardashian and West supposedly won't have to appear publicly at a courthouse to get married. Instead, a court official -- because apparently they have nothing else to do -- will perform the ceremony privately in their home.

Kim Kardashian, right, and Kanye West, left, are shown before an NBA basketball game between the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks in this Dec, 6, 2012
Kim Kardashian, right, and Kanye West, left, are shown before an NBA basketball game between the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks in this Dec, 6, 2012 file photo taken in Miami. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz, File)

The plan is supposedly then to wait about a month and have a lavish, blowout wedding ceremony in Paris.

Contact Tony Hicks at Facebook.com/BayAreaNewsGroup.TonyHicks or Twitter.com/insertfoot.