Of the three marriages in the news lately two of them are on the rocks. The third seems to be holding up pretty well.
The first marriage actually consists of the three marriages of Donald Trump. He ditched his first wife, Ivana, after he decided that her accent had become too much to bear. He cheated on Ivana with Marla Maples who would end up being his second wife. That sordid breakup appeared all over the tabloids. A scant six years later Trump referred to his second wife as "a good girl, but I wanted out." Marla was very spiritual. Donald, as we now know, has no soul.
Then along came Melania. She became a household name after plagiarizing, of all people, Michelle Obama. Donald's love for Melania is boundless. When she was pregnant he referred to her as a "monster" and a "blimp". Adorable. After the recent discovery of the now infamous video tape in which Trump describes the benefits of being a star, we're now left to wonder if Melania's days are numbered. In the past he's said that once a woman is past the age of 35 it's time to let 'em go.
Onto the second marriage; the one between Donald Trump and the Republican Party. This will undoubtedly go down as Donald's briefest marriage. It's been only a few months since Donald eliminated all the other prospective suitors to become the dashingly handsome, albeit morally (and perhaps financially) bankrupt groom. The bride to be did everything possible to ensure Donald would not be the groom, to no avail. Once the inevitable set in they desperately insisted that he play by the rules, but alas, that too, failed.
Republicans far and wide cautiously came into the fold to sanction the wedding only to have their hopes for a long future together dashed by the fully known past of the groom. They needn't employ the services of a competent sleuth to learn all they needed to know about their choice. Who Donald Trump is was not all that hard to determine.
But alas, we will now be subjected to yet another public breakup of the man who had hoped to "Make America Great Again" while destroying the party that might have helped him. Too bad as they had such high hopes. Once the video tape was made public Republicans feigned disgust with their partner of choice. It's hard to determine which was more disgusting; Trump talking about grabbing women's crotches or watching people like Sen. John McCain unendorse Trump or watching House Speaker Paul Ryan disinvite Trump to his rally, while simultaneously not unendorsing Trump. This entire process has been exceedingly more painful than putting down the family pet. So much for the vows of, "For better or worse; in sickness and in health".
We come to the third marriage; that of Bill and Hillary Clinton. Yes, Bill has not been the best role model and yes Hillary did take on those with whom Bill cavorted with as one might expect a loyal wife might do. However, unlike Trump who abandons his wives for what might be seen as non-nefarious reasons, Hillary made the decision to stick with the one she loves in spite of his failings; something Trump couldn't possibly understand.
And so here we are just a few weeks away from our 2016 Presidential Elections and we're stuck with a woman who stood by her man when the going was really tough verses a man who says that because he's a TV star he can grab women by the pu**y. Oh, and the woman who is still married to the same man after all these years coincidentally is competent, knowledgeable and demonstrably tougher than her opponent. She comes with the extra added benefit of not constantly sniffing. The choice is now very clear. Don't forget to vote on Nov. 8.
— Bob Stannard is a regular Banner columnist who lives in Manchester
The opinions of this columnist do not necessarily reflect that of the Bennington Banner